How Can You Earn Points From Miles Away, Jon and Kate?

Those TMZ guys managed to catch Jon and Kate as they were “vacationing separately” [Photo courtesy of TMZ]

Now, I don’t know about you, but I have yet to meet a couple who stayed together once they pulled the old “time apart” routine.  Yeh, yeh your girlfriend was telling you just the other day about that couple she knew that took a breather and then turned around and got married, had kids, took a second honeymoon, blah blah blah.  I heard about it, too–on the Urban Legend Lexicon under “Relationship Myths”!  Har har.  I kid, I kid.

My point is that it is a rare thing to get back together once you’ve let yourself have too much time apart.  The fact that Jon is swigging beer and chillin’ with coeds doesn’t bode well for the “getting back together” option.  The young chippie Jon hung out with the last time probably seemed like calorie free dark truffle cheesecake after Kate.  When you have no responsibility you take life just a little bit easier.  You don’t have the worry that comes with getting eight kids up and ready for school, or the fear of having eight kids during flu season.  *shudders*

Now, you all know by now how I feel about Kate and that attitude of hers, but at the same time, as a mom, I know that it is hard to be as flirty as I used to be in the pre-kid era of my life.  We still go out on dates, and I still find my husband to be the hubba hubba hotness he always was, but I will be honest enough to admit that things have changed.  I used to go out with a rather cavalier attitude about when I would be arriving back at the old nest.  Now, my eyes are on my watch at least once a half hour.  Even if Kate weren’t able to turn men to stone with one glare it would still be difficult for her to compete with someone who doesn’t have one eighth of her worries.

Then again, Jon’s not the only one stepping out.  Of course, Kate’s is for work *makes quotation mark gesture with fingers*.  In all fairness to Jon–HECK!  In all fairness to the Gosselin kids the second their marriage started to suffer Kate should have cancelled or postponed the book tour to see to her marriage.  That’s how you earn points, baby!  It would have shown the whole family–I love you more than I love our 8,000 sqft house.  On that note…

Kate, let’s talk.  You keep saying that “it’s all for the kids”.  The kids aren’t the ones utilizing the personal trainer, okay?  Just admit that it’s not just for the kids.  A little honesty especially with the self goes a long way.  I digress…

I honestly don’t believe there is any marriage so broken that it can’t be repaired, so I am still gonna keep these two in my thoughts and “vision”.  I agree with Mom and hopes that Ellen steps in (before Oprah or Dr Phil) and offers them a chance to repair what was broken.  No offense to the Great and Powerful O, but they need a little more humor and a little less financial help.  They need to see some healthy relationships that can survive a tempest.  They need…

A Pocket Frequent Foreplay Miles Accumulation Calculator!

Heh.  Heh.  Sorry…it just sounded like an infomercial there for a second.  Not sure if Mom has even made one of those yet. If she hasn’t yet, she should.  Picture it: Kate is about to verbally nail to the cross of negligence when he whips out the calculator and reminds her that he still has miles left in his bank.  Chagrined, she slinks away and lives to bitch another day…

Forgive me.  I had one too many espresso shots in my cappucino.