My Secret (Now, Not So Secret) Obsession

Tom Welling.

Ellen…Ellen…Ellen…how can you overlook this man as a guest?  You had on Becks and even flirted with him!!  Why not my man Tom?  He’s superman, Ellen.  Come on!

BTW, some say David Beckham is the world’s hottest man.  Some are stupid.  It is so obviously my husband, and number two is Tom Welling.  That makes David Beckham like third or something.  Who knows?  I can’t count this late at night.

So how does this post have anything to do with Ellen or my mother, you ask?  You are thinking this is just an excuse to put up eye candy.  Perhaps, you are right.  Or…not.

Tom Welling is happily married.  He married a non-celebrity and it is working.  In fact they’ve been married a decade now.  He is surrounded by beautiful women and has remained happily married.  Oh, alright!  It was an excuse for eye candy, dammit!

Give me a day I’ll find a way to make it relevant to Ellen or Mom.  Until then…watch and enjoy.

Simply Ageless Review

Okay folks!  I have tried the “Simply Ageless” makeup.  Now for those of you that don’t really know me, I am a make-up maniac.  I have this incredible urge to, as the Brits would say, tart myself up a bit.  I love eyeliner, lip gloss, primers, etc.  So I feel like I have something to offer and that is extensible knowledge of makeup that works and makeup that doesn’t.  For example, Wet and Wild is generally cheap crap, but they have this neutral lip liner, sort of a coffee color that is the greatest lip liner on the planet.  The rest you can toss.  I like Estee Lauder perfumes, but I think the makeup is overrated.  The lipstick doesn’t last, the powder is flaky, etc.  I’ll tell it like it is.  So onto the Simply Ageless review.

Right off the bat I want to say that I feel they could have blended the swirl because that is exactly what you do when you put it on, but…whatever.  I get it.  It’s there to show you that something else is in the makeup.  It goes on light because it has a primer in it.  Personally, it’s like those combo shampoo conditioner products.  You either like the mix, or you don’t.  Simply Ageless gives you that primer-y feel but all at once.  I would rate the product a solid “7″, “8″ if you factor in price.  I am staying with Smashbox primer and foundation combo as my favorite, but again, I have rosacea and the green Smashbox primer makes my face look more even colored.  Simply Ageless is good for not accentuating wrinkles and not looking completely horrid by noon.  A lot of foundations start to evaporate on your face (you know they do) and by midday you look worse than when you woke up.

As an aside…the old Philosophy Package of: Makeup Optional…please, please, please Philosophy bring that whole package back!!!!!

Okay, back to Simply Ageless.  It looks better longer, doesn’t accentuate wrinkles, and feels pretty good on the face.  The only thing I would change, again, is the primer foundation combo.  Let me pick my primer.  However, considering that the Smashbox foundation + primer combo is approximately $40 and this is less than $20…well, that makes it quite the bargain for us ladies of an age.

Anyway, that’s the word!  Cheers y’all!

And Here We Go…

Well…I guess it’s on (or “off” as they case may be)

We all knew it was happening, but it is all very sad (and not well thought out).

As a mom I can’t fathom eight kids all by myself.  I just can’t.  After Kate’s public smackdown of Leah…I’m not sure she’s thought it out, either.  I think that what we can take from this, if anything, is a couple that lost each other in the chaos.   It wasn’t just eight kids.  It was eight kids, ten cameras and camera men, four producers, two line cooks, several vans, production assistants, handlers, etc.  How can you possibly have intimacy with that many people around?  When it stops becoming your life and becomes an “episode” designed to get in the product placement that fuels the show…how do you have the spontaneity that all lives require?  Could they have had just a rainy day filled with movies and popcorn?  No.  They couldn’t.  It had to be an episode at Pots and Palettes or a day at Disney.

Where was Jon and Kate out as just a couple with no producers around?  With all the helpers they couldn’t even sit back at the end of a long day, exhausted together, proud that they “made it through another one”.  They took the money and ran without thinking of the real cost of doing a reality show.  Where will all the producers and fans be when they are forty-five?  Watching the next big thing.  Where will they be?  Maybe, if they’re lucky, with other people that may be willing to take on a large family but it will never be what it could have been had they met the challenge, learned to appreciate the other, learned to appreciate the love they built that family on.

In spite of my public feelings about Kate.  I am sad because I remember this:

When you see this couple…you think that, yeah, they’ve got what it takes to last.  It’s all very sad and my prayers go out to them right now.

Best of Ellen: Zachary Quinto

Hey all, I was trying to figure out how not to write about Jon and Kate (a terrible obsession of mine) and I thought I’d–OH!  Before I get onto the topic I really wanted to talk about…did anyone notice the latest headlines?  Pictures of Jon with his special “friend” together in Park City Utah surfaced.  Not only is he cold busted AGAIN with his chippie but on his wife’s birthday.  OUCH!  I mean, not only is that mobster cold (heck, even Tony Soprano made it home for Carmela’s birthday), but stooopid!  More and more am I convinced that they are in it for the money at this point.  That marriage died a long time ago and they are just pretending to be a couple because TLC owns their souls.

Sorry, back to the real topic of this post:  Zachary Quinto on Ellen.

I was always sort of “meh” about Zachary, but having seen him on Star Trek and now on Ellen I am thinking I may have a new favorite.  Do I like him enough to suffer through HEROES?  The jury’s out.  But take a look at Zachary on Ellen’s couch and tell me that’s not a cutie patootie…

I like the dog story.  Dog stories are a good way to pass the time.  Who doesn’t love a dog story?  Well, aside from cats…

Zachary also seems to have a genuine nature about him.  He doesn’t seem jaded yet, seeming to realize his good fortune, and is appropriately cutesy (take note of his special dance moves).  I can’t tell what team he’s playing for, but, heck, who cares?  He’s nice on the eyes and wears his jeans well.  Bravo, Zach!  And a nice bravo to Ellen having him on the show!

Getting Mom on Ellen Not as Important as Getting the Word Out

Howdie folks!

I have had a minor health crisis of the sort that forced an unscheduled stop in my campaign.  Upon returning to the world of the living I turned on the news right in time to see this:

At first, I had no words.  I was silent.  I sat there staring at the television just shaking my head, sympathizing with these two women, wondering how in the hell their families were holding up, wondering what the US Department of State was going to do about this bullshit–I got angrier and angrier until I was shaking.

I was angry that these women who were out there trying to shed light on injustice could be victims of it themselves.  I was angrier with all of us good folks here at home who will forget when it is no longer “top story” news.  I was angry when I realized that this anger and indignation on my part will temper in the same way that it did with the reports coming out of Darfur and the refugee camps.

So while I am still angry, while I am still ignited I will speak.  We must do something.  We must do it while we’re angry, while the fire is still in our hearts.  Save Darfur by donating to the public voice attempting to light a fire under the politicians, donate to Catholic Relief Services, Oxfam, or World Vision to provide food and immediate relief…write the White House and tell the President that you are outraged over North Korea’s imprisonment of US journalists.  Do something.  Do it while you are angry.

I’ll try to be funny again soon.  Right now I’m too angry.

Ellen And the Art of Being Nice

Took a LegoBatman break and began tubing to see what sort of Ellen + relationship advice video I could put on the blog when I stumbled across her interview with Lindsanity.

Now, if you bothered to watch the vid you can see that she is trying to counsel a very troubled girl, one quite possibly back on drugs (notice all the nose touching and jittery maneuvers) into going somewhere serene and just rebooting.  She put it nicely in context of her own breakup with Anne “Jesus’ daughter” Heche so as to put Lindsay in a safe place.  OT: tangent lady wants to recommend “Crucial Conversations”.  Great book on how to talk to people about the tough stuff.   Ellen definitely is using tactics here from that book.  She also says quite nicely that maybe Lindsay should stay home and not go to clubs. *tries not to smirk*

Now considering how hopped up Lindsay was in this interview I am not sure if Ellen was being tactful or enabling.  I would have said something to do with feces cutting and faciting reality, but then this is why Ellen has a talk show and I do not.

Mom is also better with this sort of thing than I am capable of.  Don’t get me wrong.  I am a good girlfriend to my girlfriends, a compassionate mom and wife, but I don’t think I have the tact to be a relationship or self-help guru.  I wonder if put into a room alone with Lindsay if Ellen would react/act in the same way.  I also wonder how Mom would hold up with the sort of insane make-up/break-up obsessive relationship of the type that existed between Lindsay and Samantha Ronson.  One thing I do know is that she would be much better at it than me.

The next video is the clip that shows her mastery.  She is able to talk to Sean Combs about the Chris Brown situation, letting him know she didn’t think it was too cool, and still retaining a friendship with Sean at the end.

Oprah would have called him out in a way that he knew he had incurred her displeasure.  Ellen manages to bring up the tough stuff from a safe place and put him back in one by the time the interview is over.

I choose not to comment on Chris Brown and Rhianna, but if Mom wants to she can call the ball.

Twilight Cruise?

OMG, peoples!  They’ve gone and done it.  They’ve created a Twilight Cruise that starts in “Forks” and goes all the way to Alaska.  Not that I care or anything.  But if you care, because obviously I do not care hating Twilight as I do and all,  it is a convention at sea and they even have Ashley Green going.  I’m sure some people will get all sparkly what with Ashley Green being there and all.  Not me, though.  I don’t like Twilight.

Since I seem on a sparkle rant these days (I go in phases–I think it was the New Moon clips that got me started back up) let me show you the Stephanie Myers on Ellen clip.  I really think that if nothing else it is inspirational.  She was a stay at home mom of three kids all under the age of five when she wrote her first novel.  She had no agent.  No writing experience–I won’t say it and my eyes are not rolling.  Seriously.  They’re not.  Ummm, anyway, watch the clip.

A Vision Board for the Gosselins . . .

Lisa’s Mom here . .

Okay, so now Kate’s brother and his wife Jodi have joined in the fray, going on national TV as the “voice of the kids.”  Yeah, well, if they really want to help those kids they might consider not alienating their parents Jon and Kate. They might consider expressing their concerns privately instead of going for their 15 minutes of fame. Maybe then, they could be lovin’ on those sweet kids instead of wondering why they won’t be having anymore Thanksgiving dinners with the Gosselins.

Jon and Kate may be celebrities who voluntarily put themselves in the spotlight.  But, come on, can we agree that nobody, nobody (yep, including you and me) could anticipate what it would be like to raise 8 little kids–with or without kleig lights?  Heck, Lisa can tell you I struggled to raise one kid and I’m sure glad my mistakes aren’t forever memorialized on video tape. I’m sure glad the whole world hasn’t seen me act like a shrew or make excuses for my all-too-human failings.  I can’t say that Kate comes across as warm and fuzzy or makes me want to break bread with her. But, then, I’m not all that eager to hang out with Jon either.  However, there are 8 important, adorable reasons why we should be rooting for them, not against them.  I’m with Lisa on this one . . . this marriage should be saved.

Ellen, are you out there?????  How about a vision board for the Gosselins success in becoming one big happy family again?  Your viewers love you because of your HUGE heart.  So I’m thinkin’ most of them have big hearts, too. I’ll bet they could get behind a project like this.  Imagine the power of a Vision Board created by millions of viewers!  Whew! I get woozy just thinking about it.

Oh, and if you want me to come on the show to kick it off (I mean, it is my idea), just give a shout.

And On Another Note: I Need A New Do!

I’ve been talking a lot lately about two women with short hair (Ellen and Kate) at about the same time I’m considering taking a break from the Mom Bob and hacking mine off.  I’ve had that shoulder length bob for years now, each summer telling myself that now is the time to make that leap into something visually more exciting, and each year I glumly say: Just trim the bottom.

I have told you a few times now that my love of Ellen began with stand-up.  Back in the day (do the kids still say that?) when she did stand up I remember that Ellen sported a shoulder length bob.  She has since moved to this:

This works.  Very short.  Very choppy.  Cute.  I likey.  I just don’t know if I would “likey” it on me.  I rather fancy something more along the lines of this:

This style comes from a movie that came out years ago (late 90s?) but I still love the cut.  It looks really good on Paltrow.  In fact, I like it much better than her current cut.  Whenever I see this cut I want to take the short plunge.  The problem is that I don’t have good hair luck.  I would go in with that pic and come out looking like this:

Or worse yet…this:

So you can see my dilemma.

Getting Mom on Ellen: The Clooney Method

A light bulb went off over my head shortly after I blogged last.  In my pursuit of Ellen I have tried to adapt to her ways: the vision board, the petition, the calling of the studio.  While these things are all useful they are not exactly “quick”, therefore a little thinking outside the cube became necessary.  As I pondered this issue over a Simply Limeade and bag of microwave popcorn (no lectures) it hit me!  George  Clooney.

Raise your hand if you saw the episode where Ellen ambushed George.  *raises hand*

What????  You haven’t?!!  Then feast your eyes on this…

If you are an avid Ellen watcher you know she tried to lure Clooney onto her show using various “baits” during 2000.  She tempted him with hot babes, she tempted him with male strippers, but nothing worked.  Finally she was able to snag him using baseball players (George is a fan).  So here is the beginning of my “lure Ellen” into letting Mom on her show.

Ellen is from N’awlins, a city known for its awesomely, fantastically, epicur-tastic (yeh, I made it up) epic food and now has to live in tofu land.  So, Ellen, if you’re out there (or at least a paid staffer) I will personally make or send three dozen beignets and chicory coffee to you if you let Mom on your show.

Think about it.

Get back to me.